So, What is Queening?
Certain erotic acts are synonymous with female domination – boot worship and whipping probably come to mind, but for directly sexual acts the most prevailing is queening. Queening is the act of a woman sitting on a man’s face while he licks her cunt to pleasure her.
There is of course a non-sexual version (or perhaps indirectly sexual would be more accurate); I would use the term face-sitting for this, as opposed to queening, however, as we have such a paucity of words for sexual acts they are often substituted for each other. For me, within the nuanced world of BDSM, face sitting is usually done clothed and is wrapped up with many fetishes like bottom or pantie worship; restricted breathing/smothering; human furniture; or crushing/wrestling.
Queening is sexual – it rivals or even substitutes the full-sex act for the dominant woman. This reverence stems, I believe, from its essence as a selfish act concerned only with a woman aggressively taking her pleasure and satisfaction. While having a man hard, frustrated and unsatisfied adds to its enjoyment. It is also a uniquely femdom sex act as it does not work in reverse (man on top).
And, like strapon play, it is an inherently powerful act. It reduces the man to merely an object for ‘her’ sexual pleasure. Any woman can of course lie back and have her genitals licked – queening demonstrates your superiority and in an elegant way, as you sit-up over him enthroned while he is kept subservient beneath you. This is where the act takes its name as you sit majestically on your ‘throne’. You are above him, on him, smothering him, enveloping him, he only takes a breath with your consent, he cannot even see your face.
It is the submissive’s ultimate act of worship, as it revolves around service that gives sexual pleasure while he receives none. (OK that’s not to say it cannot be equally enjoyable or desirable for the men being used). For the man it places him in a subservient position but also an intimate one where he is permitted to taste and smell the goddess who towers above him.
To properly ‘Queen’ you don’t just sit on the man’s face, you ride it, his head can be tightly gripped between your thighs or pinned beneath your buttocks, you then direct the rhythmic movements with your hips, hovering over his mouth using or avoiding his nose. You can face in either direction, kneeling over his head or even squatting. Queening is best performed on a comfortable bed as it provides the woman’s shins a padded surface and the give of the bed allows for a certain amount of bounce. It’s also a position that gives the woman complete access to her male partner’s nipples and cock – I like to have a crop in hand and find a few cracks to his frustrated cock always seem to get him focused!
The advent of today’s fetish scene has created a huge market place for bespoke toys and equipment and the mark of the popularity of queening is borne out in the many Queening Stools, Smother Boxes & Queening Chairs now available. Here at The English Mansion we even have a motorised face sitting/queening chair.
And, if like myself you want to achieve orgasm then being relaxed is essential and thrones and boxes provide the most comfortable way for the Mistress to sit back and have her cunt licked until orgasm. Some even come with a perfectly engineered head rest that fits beneath the subs neck, so the head (still supported) tilts backwards allowing the mouth to be the highest point to be mounted thus the nose is lower making it more comfortable for the Mistress and keeping it free from obstruction. Some of the thrones ingeniously have seats on springs allowing you to comfortably bounce away on your sub’s face.
Queening – A Blank History
I tried discover any ancient or early citations of queening but there are no historical depictions in art or references in literature until the mid-19th century (despite the many titillating but fanciful accounts that can be found on the web, which have no evidential basis). I suspect this omission is not because woman didn’t take the lead in sex or use sexual positions where they were literally ‘on top’ but it certainly does not seem to have been the norm. This blank is not perhaps that surprising as in the Western/Christian world sex was an act to procreate children, not for pleasure, so oral sex itself was frowned upon. Plus acts like queening would have challenged and opposed conventional notions of femininity.
The first image I could find of queening was from the late 19th century by German illustrator, Heinrich Lossow (1840–1897) who was a prolific pornographer. This image was part of his ‘Her Faithful Servant’ series.
*I used the word ‘cunt’ in this article, as I was at a loss to find another. I had the choice of medical terms like her sexual genitals or vulva; or trivial and sexist words like pussy or cherry but I alas could not find the right word.