Retro DIY Domination
When Kink Meant Raiding the Kitchen Drawer and the Hardware Aisle
Listen up, you spoiled modern kinksters. You’ve got it absurdly easy!
Yes, the scene has evolved with greater mainstream awareness around BDSM, sexuality, consent and ethical non-monogamy. But another, equally significant shift has been the rise of technology and online shopping, which has made an enormous range of specialised toys and kit easily and discreetly available.
Today it’s just a couple of clicks and a giant dragon cock, an octopus tentacle, an all-singing all-dancing fucking machine or a full cock milking rig arrives at your doorstep in a plain brown box. No person-to-person interaction required. Bluetooth chastity locks that let you deny someone from another continent. Remote-controlled phone-app electro-toys let you zap someone thirty miles away while you’re blissfully enjoying a pedicure. 3D printers that turn half-baked late-night ideas into physical reality for pocket money, with a ready-made market of people who want to buy them. There was a time, not that long ago, when none of that existed.
The Pre-Toy Dark Ages
Even finding ‘play toys’ was difficult. Everyday-wear modern male chastity devices only became available in 1999 (the CB-2000) but it was only from the 2010s onwards they shifted from a niche mail-order/online fetish shops device to something truly mass-produced and easily accessible. A strapon cock was a peculiar rarity — you’d have to trudge down two flights of stairs into a seedy basement sex shop that smelled of bleach (you know why) and shame, and emerge with a pair of moulded latex pants featuring a weird, misshapen lump that looked more like a saucepan handle than a cock. Back then the average sex shop offered little more than ugly, rock-hard vibrators, bottles of Spanish Fly (herbal Viagra) and racks of dirty magazines. Everything else, you improvised.
The High Street, (I’ll explain this to the Gen Zers – yes, this was a pre-internet main road of actual shops where you had to leave the house and make awkward eye contact with real humans to buy stuff.). Yes, the High Street was your BDSM toy catalogue: the kitchen aisle; the hardware store; the chemist; the stationery shop. No discreet packaging. No next-day delivery. Just pure, unapologetic creativity and the quiet knowledge that the wooden spoon you just bought ‘for cooking’ was definitely not going near any soup.
Everything But the Kitchen Sink
Yet the sessions were still intense. You simply had to be cleverer and more creative about it. Old-fashioned wooden clothes pegs made excellent nipple clamps with fishing weights added. Ice cubes and dripped hot wax delivered instant temperature play, both melting in the most inconvenient places. A length of washing line from the DIY store handled bondage just fine, cling film worked for mummification, a scarf became a blindfold and a hanky an instant gag.
A hairbrush or (actual) riding crop made great impact tools, or a ruler, garden cane, slipper, woodern spoon, flip-flops or even a cricket bat if you wanted a full arsenal. For CBT there were mini clips or elastic bands from the stationery shop, plus shoelaces to tie everything up in a pretty bow. Fly swats always perfect for beating cocks — after all, they were designed to deal with annoying little pests. Phallic vegetables wearing condoms were pressed into service as dildos, while Deep Heat, Tiger Balm or a careful dab of hot sauce made excellent (and cruel) lube for hand jobs.
Everything required imagination, and those limitations created a playful ingenuity all of their own. You couldn’t simply order the exact implement of your fantasy — you had to look at ordinary objects and see the potential for exquisite torment.
Retro Improvised Toys for Modern Emergencies
I loved the creativity of those improvised days, and while the new toys are magnificent, the convenience is glorious, the range is ridiculous and have opened up a whole new world of kink – the old no-frills retro approach still has its place. It’s perfect when you’re just starting out and want to experiment without spending a fortune on proper kit. I’ve certainly been in situations, a hotel room, for ex. where you want to play but have no toys with you. Suddenly a rolled-up magazine for spanking, a dressing-gown belt to ties hands, your sharp stiletto heels for delicate parts, spit-soaked panties (stuffed in their mouth or pulled over their head), a scarf to keep them quiet, a hairbrush (both ends useful — the handle with a condom) and some shoelaces all come into their own. Your belt makes the perfect collar and leash, paired with a pillow case for a hood.
No Toys Required
Being able to run a whole scene with very limited toys (or none at all) is a useful skill and can be surprisingly effective. It’s just you and the unadulterated art of dominating another person with your presence. Toys are great, and it often depends on the nature of the session, but they can sometimes dilute the raw, singular power of that unique connection—where a Dom’s sheer presence locks onto their sub and claims them completely.
Just remember to stay safe and sane with homemade toys. (If you’re using any form of bondage, always keep a sharp pair of scissors within easy reach — unlike proper manacles, note that these improvised restraints aren’t designed for a quick release. Candles must be cheap, fast melting and held at a distance when poured.) See here for more safety advice.
Scotland the Brave… Mistress Vivienne Has Arrived
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