An Interview With Mistress Sidonia von Bork Pt 2

First published in Secret Magazine December 2005 – Issue 28

You recently released two videos with David Jackson from Bootlovers.com. Have you known him for a long time? How did this project start? Will there be more videos/DVD’s? and also, why in Black & white?

As an artist I was initially interested in photography, but found it had limitations and therefore made a natural progression into making short art movies. I felt films gave me the space to express the darker parts of my psyche and also the breadth to explore the metaphorical nature of visual art forms. My films always have layer upon layer of meaning. So eventually the artist’s and dominatrix’s lives crossed and to film my sessions became an obvious project. Firstly, I wanted to document some of my scenes, but importantly I felt that nothing I had ever watched had ever really conveyed to me the reality of the interplay between a slave and his Mistress, of what really happens in a scene. Unfortunately BDSM has an obvious ‘shock-value’ that is always exploited by the mainstream medias, we are all familiar with the banal stereotype of the PVC clad, whip-welding Dom acting out a ridiculous scenario for a crass comic effect. Worst of all, are the scary fly-on-the-wall documentaries, which may deserve some praise, for addressing and opening up the whole BDSM issue to the general public however, they still sell us short, as often those interviewed are the most extreme or bizarre players who are quite unrepresentative of the scene as a whole.

I wanted to try to capture the intensity of a female domination session, the exhilarating power play and charged atmosphere, to try and convey some of the beauty and intimacy. I worked on the project with a fellow artist Brian Williams, who developed much of the unique filming technique and did the filming. We always filmed genuine sessions as they progressed and in their entirety. We filmed them in black and white because filming without colour draws the viewer into the action and dungeons do usually tend to be very complicated rooms with lots of equipment hanging on the walls. Using monochrome enhanced the sensual texture of leather hinting to the viewer its aroma and sensual qualities. Plus most of my costumes are black, so texture becomes even more important.

We filmed much of the action from the perspective of the slave looking up at his Mistress towering above him and all of it with a roving camera and moving light source, so as to give the viewer the effect that they are secretly peeking in on, or through a keyhole into an unknown and private world. Some sections were filmed with a drop-frame effect which gives them a dream like quality – (‘that you have but slumbered here while these visions did appear’). As there was no sound I added ethnic background music, often with ethereal female chanting to add a reminder of the powerful and hypnotic nature of female energy. I also wanted my devotees to hear my voice speaking directly to them and so used a voice-over. I begin with a slave hypnotism designed to mesmerize the viewer and draw them into my world. I discuss my philosophy of female domination including an in-depth introduction to what is expected from a contracted slave. I also comment on the action as it unfolds giving the viewer more of an insight into the psychology of domination and understanding of my equipment and implements.

A friend, David Jackson who runs DDI Magazine and www.Bootlovers.com had seen a copy of these art-movies then entitled The Bork Sessions, he thought they were fantastic and persuaded me to make them available on the American market. Unfortunately, this meant we had to edit out some of the action to fit with the current US video regulations. For example, any watersports or insertions ie. strap-on play, could only be implied and not shown fully. Personally, I didn’t think they were terribly commercial with no colour or real sound. They do however, present real action nothing is staged or faked with a genuine Mistress and some of her real life slaves. They are certainly an acquired taste and present something very different from any other commercial domination movies. Interestingly women seemed to really like and appreciate them. They were shown at the alternative New York Film Festival and despite their quirkiness surprisingly seem to have sold extremely well.

There were two videos released ‘The English Mistress Parts 1 & 2’, but there won’t be any more made. They were a work of love and ultimately the time and effort they took to produce can never be fully compensated. It was however, an invaluable experience, they taught me a great deal about film making and built my confidence in myself to launch my own femdom movie website The English Mansion.com. Mostly what we make is fairly commercial and within the accepted genera of erotic SM as that is basically what our members want but occasionally I indulge myself with an idea that is somewhat alternative. I consider myself very lucky as I truly enjoy running the website. I love being creative, exploring new plots and ideas, many based on my own personal fantasies. I also adore the process of filming them, I definitely have an exhibitionist streak and I think I like the thought that through the website, I can now tease hundreds of men from afar.

In the BDSM scene most of the Domina’s do not have sex with their slaves. You do. Can you tell me why or is this is special slave, like your boyfriend?

I’m not sure who wrote this ‘rule book’ and certainly have never seen a copy of it. Personally I think that is a ridiculous supposition. I can certainly see that in the world of commercial domination, sex does not need to be a part of it and when I worked a prodom sex was certainly something I didn’t enter into with my clients, but that does not mean it was not an erotic experience. If you think of it the other way around with masters and sub girls, I suspect that sexual slavery is an exciting and accepted part of those relationships. For me the act of domination is in itself a sexual one driven by my sexual needs and desires. The act of a man giving himself to me, suffering for me and totally submitting himself to my every whim is incredibly lubricious. To humiliate is erotic, to inflict slow sensual pain is erotic, to use is erotic and the pure act of owning a slave is in itself extremely erotic. My personal slaves exist to please me in anyway I choose and therefore are there to sexually please me anyway I want – that’s my choice and power. I have an incredible sex drive and need slaves that can give me a lot of attention. At the moment I have a 24/7 relationship with a male slave who is most certainly there as my sex slave. I think probably the reason I don’t play sexually with lots of different people is because, like most people, the safe sex issue is a concern and I want to be sensible. I do also play with other both male and female slaves that do pleasure me in a safe sex way. Playing, being a Mistress, having slaves is what turns me on, that’s my primary drive for doing it, sex and being pleasured is integral to this. I think the only rule should only be, don’t do anything you are uncomfortable with.

What do you think about the submissive men and slaves that come to serve you?

Generally the media only have one stereotypical image of the submissive male – that of the quivering, wimpy slave who is always depicted in a comical manner. In my experience this could not be further from the truth, it’s a huge misconception. Firstly, most sexually submissive men are generally anything but in their day-to-day lives, and, in session, they are something far from weedy. When a man submits to me, it is not because he is weak but because he is strong – to submit takes extreme will. To suffer what many slaves endure needs a strong man, both mentally and physically which enables me to indulge my need to really hurt and abuse them. I am often astounded with the amounts of pain and suffering that slaves will endure purely for my will. How they face and overcome their fears in order to become my new creation. What is also fantastic about sub men (and women) is that they are nearly always highly intelligent (except when they have an erection), articulate and often very creative. They always want to explore their sexualities and imaginative fantasies which they populate with their dreams of submission and suffering. Although an experienced Mistress, I still believe there is plenty for me to learn within the huge world of SM. Much of what I have learned has in some part come from the submissives that have served and amused me.

With your military cap and the “M logo”, you look very much as a Nazi. Doesn’t this worry you?

Well my intention is to create the look of a sexy uniform that is obviously based on an iconic and a glamorous female military officer. I personally find this imagery and the fantasies it can encompass extremely erotic. I think that we should remember that we are surrounded by images of Nazism, the Second World War was a huge event in relatively recent history. Hollywood has mixed fact and fiction and none of us are unfamiliar with the character of what I call a ‘Hollywood Nazi’. Ultimate baddies often played by famous and sexy movies stars, who wear smart black uniforms, leather knee boots and black leather coats. With this deliberately titillating mix of sexy baddies, of fact and fiction, of total power over others, it is not surprising that so many BDSMers are drawn to the imagery and obviously SM subtext of Nazism. But this appeal comes from a fantasy, I am equally fascinated, like many others with characters like Darth Vader & Serverlan. I guess I’m just always drawn to the bad guys & girls.

We need to make a distinction that most BDSM revolves around fantasies, women fantasize about rape, guys want to be kidnapped and abused – but although we act them out, they are obviously not real. The idea of watching or entering into real sexual violence or non consensual acts to those of us involved in the scene would be totally abhorrent. I can’t control what turns me on and society will never be able to police what people fantasize about. I also know a lot of people share my interest with this kind of imagery and play.

Since most aspects of SM and fetishism play with images that are dark and disturbing we could probably censor everything, as its images will always be upsetting and taboo to someone somewhere. SM is never going to be politically correct because it isn’t, no matter how much we try to squeeze it into the box, it’s just not going to fit. We certainly can’t try to control this by saying a medieval torturer is an acceptable costume but a nazi uniform is not. There is a huge amount of darkness attached to the word ‘slave’. I think it becomes very dangerous once any group begins making rules as to what is or isn’t an acceptable or permissible way for consensual people to express their sexuality. That’s fascism and we should protect freedom of expression.

That is not to say that there aren’t issues relating to sensitivity and appropriateness. I recognize that swastikas, authentic insignia and certain uniforms are extremely emotive, upsetting and naturally offensive to many people. Especially as images taken for fantasy play can be used out of context especially with the advent of social media. Running a commercial website we just would never use authentic uniforms or Nazi insignia anywhere as it’s not necessary; to be honest that’s not what our fetishists are interested in any way, they want a sexy, fantasy look of a powerful female officer. I’m not making judgments on any kinds of pervery but it’s important to be sensitive, understanding and considerate.

What influence does BDSM have on your life now, if any?

Today my sexuality is integral to my lifestyle. I see fetishists and BDSMers as the new Bohemians of the 21st Century, who resist and challenge the values of mainstream culture. I am also fascinated in the spiritual aspect of SM play. How differing forms of submission and masochism can offer us unique life experiences – like modern rites of passage. The desire for oblivion and liberation, removing the burden of self with all it stresses, conflicts and limitations, leading ultimately to a transformation of the soul. Today the emphasis is on being an individual, we are taught to take control of our lives and responsibility for ourselves. We need to learn to value the unknown as well as the rational, to abdicate control as well as taking it. Westerners rarely have to face scary experiences, go to war, fight physically for survival. I think that is why there is a renewed interest in masochism and body modification like tattooing or body piercing. These experiences give us safe natural highs, they bring us closer to fear and ultimately death. BDSM also connects with ‘adult’ play and fantasy, the need for us all to explore our psyches and darker natures in a safe way. I believe that it is through these intense experiences we can transform ourselves into far more than the sum of our parts.

What was the weirdest experience you ever encountered? What was the most pleasant one…?

I have had so many wild and amazing experiences I really wouldn’t know where to start. I am extremely open-minded and unshockable and I would encourage people to explore their sexualities and enjoy them and not be worried about other people being judgmental.

If you had a million pounds, what would do with it?

Use it to finance my plans of world domination. No seriously, money is not a driving force of my life. There are other far more important, decadent and pleasurable things I spend my time planning.

Do you have a personal message for the readers who would like to contact you?

I’m currently not available for sessions as I just don’t have the time these days as the website has taken up far more of my time than I ever anticipated. We currently get fifty plus emails everyday so it is just not possible for me to answer people personally. We do however have a forum open at the website and everybody is welcome to join in with discussions and I do personally read all the messages and contribute where appropriate. That is currently the best way for slaves to make themselves known to me. We do use slaves in our movies, but currently do have a back log of willing participants.

First published in Secret Magazine December 2005 – Issue 28

An Interview With Mistress Sidonia von Bork Pt 1

First published in Secret Magazine December 2005 – Issue 28

How did you get started in the BDSM scene?

I’m totally open and unashamed to acknowledge that my earliest leanings were definitely, though not exclusively, submissive. As a teenager, I don’t think I was in any way mature enough to be or enjoy the dominant part of an SM relationship. I do believe that in order to really explore ones dominance you first need to have a fair amount of life experience and sexual encounters – both straight and pervy. It takes years to have the practical knowledge, confidence, understanding of male sexuality and your own desires to be in total control of another person. I loved being sub, I threw myself into it. I did everything and had the most fantastic time but got to a point where I felt I had done everything. I now know that this submissive beginning is not an uncommon route for many women who later become dominant. I was submissive from my early teens up to my early twenties, then there was a switch period and around my mid-twenties I became completely dominant in my tastes. I worked as a Prodom for over ten years. I have had three 24/7 Mistress and slave relationships each one reaching a little further than the last in their intensity. With each I have grown in my abilities and discovered more about my desires. How did I start, well, like most fellow perves, it was just in me. There was no internet then and so discovering others who shared your interests was a complicated process of finding and joining underground and clandestine members clubs. I started attending, meeting people and playing.

Do you enjoy dressing the part of a dominatrix? From what I’ve seen on the website, you prefer leather to dress up in, but you also show a vast collection of rubber. What do you prefer and why?

An essential element to every scene is my costume, I am a voyeur, I love mirrors, I love the way I look, the way the slave looks. The visual aspect of a scene is part of its eroticism. The ritual of dressing myself before a session, the transformation into the darker side of myself where I am becoming ready to take on the power and mantle of a Mistress. I adore all that is excessively feminine, dramatic make up, painted nails and long hair. I like to use my femininity to ensnare men, the supposed weakness of the fairer sex is the best way to capture their minds and control them. The clothes pamper my senses and indulge my dominance, they make me feel powerful and sexy and prepare me for the oncoming liaison. This is when I concentrate my thoughts, tune into the dominant part of my psyche, and let my mind run to where I want to go, where I shall lead my ward. This is never a fixed script, simply ideas that I let take over, for often the scene will dart off in a completely different direction.

I don’t specifically like one costume over another, it just depends on my mood or what’s new in my wardrobe. I have always been drawn to leather. It’s primal, it makes me feel feral and wild – leather is so fierce. It ages and lasts. When a leather garment sits on a hanger it always looks rather uninteresting as it’s a material that needs a body to bring it to life. Leather slowly moulds to the shape of your body like a second skin. Leather is definitely my preferred fetish attire. This is not to say I dislike rubber, I think rubber is the ultimate in flattering fetish wear, it immediately glamorizes you, the way that rubber shows off the shape of your body, the way it makes your skin appear so smooth and sleek.

I also love the smartness and gravity of uniforms. I like to wear straight business suits, high heels and glasses, (which I usually wear in everyday life) they allow me to connect to the real world. Plus to dominate men in ordinary clothes, (without the customary uniform of the Dom) to throw off the conventions is appealing and can make it more exciting. I also like to wear pervy clothes under my straight clothes. I like corsets and Victorian costumes. The final touch to dressing is always the shoes or boots. I have a particular love and fetish for platforms (as all women should be on pedestals) because of how they exaggerate the shape of the shoe, they accentuate its natural curves and add height to the heels.

I have a fetish for hoods and masks and love to hood my slaves (the feel of leather between my thighs is quite delightful). Hoods take away their sense of individuality and turn them into nothing more than a creature for my pleasure, nameless and faceless, there for me, an extension of me. On an outing a slave should be dressed up, he’s merely an appendage, like a matching handbag.

Can you agree with the notice that a good dominant should also know what it is to be a good submissive?

I generally believe it’s always a good idea to try everything, to try being tied up, try being whipped, experience everything because you never know what you like until you have tried it. I think that some of the best doms have been or tried at playing sub. Being on the receiving end gives you an insight that you could never possibly understand while you are the Dom, of the reality of handing over power and responsibility to someone else. It is a complicated paradox of wanting to please your Dom and take and do everything they wish but within your limits, needing to feel safe and ultimately respected. You also gain an invaluable understanding into the technical aspects of what works, of what are realistic expectations. You understand the difference between what can be pleasurably painful and what is just downright uncomfortable and distracting; and how pleasure can turn to panic in an instant. So while you don’t need to be submissive – to experiment and to experience is always good. This applies to sexuality in general – there are hundreds of things to try, why not experiment and keep an open mind.

I have often mused on the fact that the important distinction is not as to whether you are the Sub or Dom but whether you are straight or pervy. This is because the roles of Sub and Dom are co-dependant, ones need the other to exist, so in a sense they are one and the same. This is because whilst being submissive, part of the experience is identifying with the power the dominant has over you, a kind of emotional empathy and vice versa for the dominant party.

When a sub presents them to you, what do look for the most? His imagination, fantasies, …? You have a vast collection of fantasies like face-sitting, arse licking, extreme BDSM, strap-ons, cock & ball torture, military & prison scenes, clinic play, watersports, etc… what do you prefer to do most? (if possible elaborate answer, not just “spanking, please… also the why?)

For me domination is ultimately psychological, the CP, WS, SM, bondage etc., i.e. the physical aspects, are just sidelines or tools for me as a Dominant. It’s the getting into someone’s mind, the control, the taking them over that I find exciting and a turn on. I like to train or break slaves to my will or seduce men into my power. In some ways it’s like a dance that I am engaging in or an elaborate game of chess. When a slave first presents himself to me the endless possibilities are exciting. So basically someone who is open, with whom once I have built up the trust, is going to let me take them on a journey, and is able to let go. Most slaves are arrogant enough to think that they know what being a good submissive is, so most will never experience the heady delights and pleasure of completely submitting themselves to another person. When it happens it is thrilling for me and for them. When someone presents themselves to me, as their Mistress I feel honoured, by offering themselves and their submission up to me it is their biggest gift, something very precious, something I must nurture, take care of and develop.

As for which of the technical aspects of a session I prefer, I have explored different things, I have had many phases. I am keen on elaborate bondage, having my victim totally helpless and at my mercy. But also mental bondage, seducing a man or psychologically overpowering them. I’ve always liked using a strap-on cock on guys, I like the role reversal, the power of being able to enter another person and take them over. (Especially if I have a vibrator on underneath.) Do I have penis envy – certainly not, I have loads and mine stay hard all night. I love heavy uniform type torture and humiliation scenes and have a cruel imagination, I want to totally break down my captive have then totally at my mercy and in my power. I also love Watersports as a form of humiliation, but also for its erotic and sensual qualities.

I’ve interviewed Sardax and saw some special drawings done especially for you. What is your relation with him and how did these drawings come to be?

I consider myself an artist, if anything the creative and artistic side of me is a greater part of my identity than being a dominatrix. Being a Mistress is not the entirety of my life. So I have always been drawn to fellow artists in the fetish world of which there are many. From personal experience the scene draws very many creative, imaginative and intelligent individuals.

I collect erotic art and have a huge collection with many originals – including works by Jan Saudek, Vince Ray, Incubus 6, China Hamilton and of course Sardax. Given that Sardax’s style does have a special appeal to women and its main subject matter revolves around femdom, I guess it was inevitable that we would meet. His sense of the darker side of femininity is particularly interesting, I also love his attention to detail, the muted colours, their other worldliness and of course his sublime imagination. Together we worked on a few ideas and he used me as a muse in a number of paintings. One piece I love is a portrait of me standing in front of a pathway leading to a door – an image I now use on the first page of my personal website www.SidoniaBork.com. Doorways offer the possibility of something new, something wondrous but mainly something unknown. Another painting by Sardax I adore is a version of me in a similar pose and costume to the famous Pre-Raphaelite painting of Sidonia von Bork (by Burne-Jones) that is to be found in the Tate London Gallery. Ms Bork was one of the first femme fatales and the painting was based on the 1849 novel of the same name by Wilhelm Meinhold. And of course, more apparently, my namesake – the pseudo-name I have taken for my dominant persona. So it has a special fondness and meaning for me.

First published in Secret Magazine December 2005 – Issue 28