Taking a walk around town and my local supermarkets it’s amazing how many fun fetish references one can find 🙂
Value riding crops at Tescos – glad to see femdom kit is part of their basic range;
Cock seasoning presumably for after its been thoroughly beaten;
I loved this huge 8ft sign hanging over the entrance to the historic Roman Baths;
Ass (assorted!) Fudge & Ball Bags someone needs to give these shop boys a good thrashing;
Cooking with Poo (don’t put that into a search engine – it’s not nice) apparently Poo is the Thai word for crab;
Bulls for sale, I must let Mistress T know, she’s always on the look out for young, strong bulls for her cuckolding scenes;
Penis topiary – is that deliberate? Perhaps it’s some kind of secret swingers sign;
& the Whiplash leaflet was handed to me when I left my gym – who knew it was it was so prevalent.
If you see any good fetish funnies please send then to me (MistressSidonia) at The English Mansion dot com.
Most amusing! And what is “Welsh Lady Ass Fudge”?!
That’s a hard one – I’m not sure assorted fudge is any better 🙁
A review on Amazon for A Hair Removal Cream
More Here http://www.amazon.co.uk/Veet-Men-Hair-Removal-Creme/dp/B000KKNQBK/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335531430&sr=8-1
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Boldly Baldy Ballsies, 29 April 2012
By Ominous Sohominous – This review is from: Veet for Men Hair Removal Gel Creme 200 ml
Dear Consumers,
As the personal health-and-safety advisor for Nick Clegg, and a general NHS enthusiast, I’m an avid believer in the concept of minimising risk health risks. However, I am also cursed with hirsute lineage, and have a nether region than resembles the sweepings from a barbershop floor after Chewbacca’s custom.
With reckless aplomb, I foolishly ignored all the previous customer reviews, and voraciously applied an entire 200ml bottle to my purple helmeted warrior, and both of my pork dumplings. The outcome was disastrous. Please – I implore you to heed my warning. I was watching Britain’s Got Talent at the time, and even though I set my timer to 5 minutes, I accidentally got distracted by Ant & Dec’s hilarious banter, Simon Cowell’s scurrilous scathing comments (that he can spontaneously provide on tap, for ratings) and Amanda Holden’s tits. Suddenly, a searing pain exploded with the force of a suicide bomber, emminating from my scrotacular arena. Tears streaming down my face, like a waterfall, from the TLC song (“Waterfalls”) I looked down in horror to realise that 5 minutes and 23 seconds had passed. The pain increased exponentially, like the number of cells of an organism reproducing by mitosis. The pain was indescribable – though for your benefit I shall attempt to describe it now; imagine raping a frigid porcupine, then rubbing your genitalia in Encona chilli sauce, then raping a plug-socket. Well, it was exactly 27 times more painful than that.
As I had not applied the cream evenly (distracted by Cowell insulting a narcissistic tart with learning disabilities for more ratings), this process unfortunately eventuated in my right testicle looking like Silvio Bellisconi, and its counterpart looking like Iain Hislop. In the frenzy of wafting and applying lemon sorbet for it’s soothing effects and refreshing citric edge, a rouge drop of Veet for Men Hair Removal for men splashed onto the edge of my anal cavity, causing a sensation like a pneumatic drill covered in Encona chilli sauce had raped me.
Fumes stung my eyes, and now I wear a patch, and a lack of depth perception has ruined my dreams of becoming a world-class darts player. My bald shiney scrote-bag is so sensitive, it cried at Titanic 3D, and I now have to walk with a zimmer frame. My rectus fellopius was removed, as was 3 feet of bowel, and I have a colostomy bag. Plus, I passed out, and did not see the rest of Britain’s got talent, or even Britain’s got more talent an hour later on ITV2.
My life has fallen apart, and Nick Clegg thinks of me as an embarrassment. Additionally, I can no longer perform my husbandly duties.
Despite this terrible tragedy that has bequeathed me, I cannot fault it in terms of effectiveness – my south pole is as bald as that bloke that played Charles Xavier, and Captain Jean-Luc Picard. Therefore despite urging the public to avoid this product at all costs, I also grudgingly have to give it 5 stars.
Haha that was hilarious. nothing i’d enjoy experiencing myself, but Will truly be something different and would make an awesome next film! Combine that with cling film some deep heat up the poop chute and i will be forever grateful! ;D
Humble greetings from Sweden