Falling foul of AI. Those of us in the BSDM community find many of the restrictions baffling.
Femdom & BDSM: Ethics, Consent, Power & Play
When a sub turned my blog post: 6 Reasons Why Men Should be Kept in Chastity or The Pleasures of Erotic Sexual Denial (see article here)
into an AI-generated podcast; I was mortified when the artificial American hosts were so deeply concerned and offended by the content.
“She was so rude and abusive in the way she spoke to him… used phrases like desperate, pliable, and agreeable. Implying that by denying him sexual release, she can mould his desires to reprogram him. Threatening physical punishments if he doesn’t comply. She talked about steering him towards specific acts like being penetrated by a strap-on… or emasculation… like she’s suggesting someone’s inherent sexual preferences are somehow wrong and need to be corrected.” 🤣
Clearly, AI is not very intelligent when it comes to fet play, it struggles with the complexities of BDSM. Its literal interpretation of language hinders its ability to grasp the nuanced dynamics and the fantasy role-playing that is fundamental to D/s relationships. (Though perhaps the same thing could also be said for the Vanilla mainstream.) So it might be good for me to clarify the context for the body of work I’ve produced for this blog over the years. It is written from (my) the dominant viewpoint but within the framework of a consensual Femdom D/s dynamics – not as ‘tips’ for fostering abusive or coercive relationships!
Context Is King (or Queen here)
Maybe without proper context, some of the content from this blog could be misinterpreted as non-consensual or abusive. Those of us in the BDSM scene understand that we play within strict ethical guidelines, set frameworks and that on-going informed consent is paramount. Within ‘the scene’ we have our own terms, language, outfits, playspaces and equipment. This can be complicated to outsiders, (we even have a term called CNC/Consensual Non-Consent or Free Use.)
Adult Playtime
I believe D/s and BDSM play is healthy adult play. It’s playtime, a place to delve into our unconscious, primal and base sexual desires in an open, fun, safe environment. A source of relaxation to aid our emotional well-being; and stimulation to fuel our imagination and creativity. Dominatrices are not therapists, however, exploring our sexualities, early-developed fetishes or intense childhood experiences in a safe non-judgmental way can have a positive effect on our lives. We can try out new kinks, how do you know what you like, till you’ve tried. Human sexuality is varied, complex and multifaceted. It can change throughout our lifetimes. What to some is bizarre or shocking, might be profoundly meaningful, erotic and pleasurable to others. We need to approach sexuality with an open mind, and respect individual choices as long as they’re made within a framework of informed, ongoing consent and ethical behaviour.
The Eroticisation of Power Dynamics
At the core of D/s is the eroticisation of power dynamics. For many people within the BDSM community, the psychological and emotional aspects of power exchange are what make it so intensely pleasurable. The key is that this power exchange is negotiated and consensual, with both partners (or more) fully understanding and agreeing to the rules and limits of their play. This might seem extreme, abusive or even cruel to those outside the BDSM community, but within an agreed framework it can be a form of mutually enjoyable erotic play. Of course this dynamic can become unhealthy, a D/s, like any form of intimate relationship, requires constant communication, negotiation and a deep understanding of each other’s needs and desires.
Yes there are still complex questions about power and control in relationships, even within a consensual framework. A chosen power imbalance, is still an imbalance. Though these power imbalances exist in most relationships, workplaces, families, and beyond – and these dynamics can shift over time. The issue lies not in the imbalance itself, but in how the person with power wields it.
There are issues surrounding the ethics of manipulating someone’s sexual desires for your own gratification. And the potential psychological effects on both individuals, emotional, physical, psychological and financial. However, for the overwhelming majority of those involved in D/s play, it is a mutually fun form of consensual erotic power play.
Ethics, Context & This Femdom Blog
This blog is written from within the enclave of the femdom world, it primarily reflects (my) the dominant woman’s viewpoint. So its language is provocative, often designed to be sexually arousing, button pressing and deliberately harsh and offensive within the context and framework of female domination. But beyond the play I acknowledge the necessary mutual agency and consent of all parties involved.
It’s important to note that my articles and posts here on this blog represent just one viewpoint within a vast and diverse BDSM community. There are countless other perspectives, practices, and power dynamics at play. It’s a world of exploration and discovery, but wherever your leanings, kinks and sexuality lie, BDSM play demands: Respect, Communication, Consent, Education & Accountability.
See here D/s Relationships & Responsibility
And, here Playing Safely in BDSM
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