Salome II by Franz von Stuck (1906)

All She Ever Wanted

A long, long time ago in a far, far away place lived little Princess Horrid. Cold and aloof she toyed with all around her making them step her merry yet deadly dance. But none amused, none could hold the intensity of her glare. None could love without wanting in return.

So she travelled far and wide deciding to search for the perfect slave. One who would wait on her hand and foot. Who would love and worship her above even themselves. Who would give everything and expect nothing. Many offered, many tried – all failed.

On advice from her handmaiden she decided to hold a giant tournament offering herself to the one who could suffer all the cruel torments she had devised. Though it turned out to be a more entertaining afternoon than most, sating her lust for blood, sweat and tears; none could be found who could completely the trial. For they did not see the eternal truth that one can only truly suffer for love.

Still incomplete she decided to visit the Kingdom’s magician. She explained that what she yearned for could not exist. He must conjure up this perfect slave, this being whose ‘reason d’etre’ would be to make her smile. She would be the creator, ubiquitous and omnipotent. Sitting down in a huge comfortable throne she set about listing all her wants and desires. Once finished she began shouting at the magician to get on with it, (she did shout a lot).

The magician boiled a big cauldron and threw lots of harmless little fluffy animals into it. He huffed and he puffed. He canted and incanted. Finally, there was a huge puff of smoke – and then nothing. Little Princess Horrid shouted and shouted till her face went lobster pink. (Well, she was rather a horrid Princess.)

Realising she would never fill her hearts desire she started back to her tower deciding to stamp all the way, when she bumped into a witch. She was a witchy witch, with a crooked stick and a crooked smile.
“Can’t find what you’re looking for missy? You need to stop searching and start seeing because everything you truly need – will always come to you.”
“I have searched and looked,” she declared in her usual spoiled and grumpy fashion. The witchy witch smiled her crooked smile,
“Aarr, but it is only with the heart that one can see clearly.”

“Witches what do they know anyway” grumbled the Princess under her breath as she marched back to her tower.

Now, there was a boy, a very strange enchanted boy, who already served the Princess. He didn’t yet know it yet, (for the most powerful secrets are those you keep even from yourself) but he wanted more than life itself to give himself up to her completely. Somewhere inside he knew his destiny lay on another path. But how could he find the way he didn’t even have a path or a signpost or even a map, (not that he was any good at map reading).

And so as time passed into the present and back again into the past and so on and so on time passed. He was always there tending to her every wish. Her whims became the flame that cast his shadow. He could only exist in her light. His love was infinite it stretched like tiny sparking stars never-ending round and around her cosmos. She was the sun of his world, worshiped each day to rise again and bring life to his being.

One day as he knelt down at her boots while she delved into a huge bowl of her favourite porridge, a little dripped down from her silver spoon,
“Look what you have made me do, you useless boy.” Spat the princess, pointing at the mess on the inside of her thigh. Blushing hotly, he bent down to lick her white skin clean and looking up he met her eyes, thinking how she was even more beautiful in anger. At that moment, as she felt his tongue and gazed into his eyes, she remembered the words of the witchy witch.

Postscript by the writer: The Princess had indeed finally found right before her (literally), just what she always wanted and as it turns out he was everything and much, much more.

Question from the reader: But did they all live happily ever after?

Writer: Oh you starry-eyed romantics, there is so much more after happily ever after.

By Mistress Sidonia von Bork