Retro DIY DominationWhen Kink Meant Raiding the Kitchen Drawer and the Hardware Aisle
Listen up, you spoiled modern kinksters. You’ve got it absurdly easy!
Yes, the scene has evolved with greater mainstream awareness around BDSM, sexuality, consent and ethical non-monogamy. But another, equally significant shift has been the rise of technology and online shopping, which has made an enormous range of specialised toys and kit easily and discreetly available.
Today it’s just a couple of clicks and a giant dragon cock, an octopus tentacle, an all-singing all-dancing fucking machine or a full milking rig arrives at your doorstep in a plain brown box. No person-to-person interaction required. Bluetooth chastity locks that let you deny someone from another continent. Remote-controlled phone-app electro-toys let you zap someone thirty miles away while you’re blissfully enjoying a pedicure. 3-D printers that turn half-baked late-night ideas into physical reality for pocket money, with a ready-made market of people who want to buy them.There was a time, not that long ago, when none of that existed.
If you wanted a strapon cock, you trudged down two flights of stairs into a seedy basement sex shop that smelled of bleach (you know why) and shame, and emerged with a cheap pair of latex pants featuring a weird, misshapen lump that looked more like a saucepan handle – than a cock. And even finding a strap-on felt like a rare event, back then the average sex shop offered little more than ugly, rock-hard vibrators, bottles of Spanish Fly (herbal Viagra) and racks of dirty magazines. Everything else? You improvised.
The High Street, (I’ll explain this to the Gen Zers – yes, this was a pre-internet main road of actual shops where you had to leave the house and make awkward eye contact with real humans to buy stuff.). Yes, the High Street was your BDSM toy catalogue: the kitchen aisle; the hardware store; the chemist; the stationery shop. No discreet packaging. No next-day delivery. Just pure, unapologetic creativity and the quiet knowledge that the wooden spoon you just bought ‘for cooking’ was definitely not going near any soup.
Yet the sessions were still intense. You simply had to be cleverer and more creative about it. Old-fashioned wooden clothes pegs made excellent nipple clamps with fishing weights added. Ice cubes and dripped hot wax delivered instant temperature play, both melting in the most inconvenient places. A length of washing line from the DIY store handled bondage just fine, cling film worked for mummification, a scarf became a blindfold and a hanky an instant gag. A hairbrush or your belt made great impact tools — or a ruler, fly swatter, garden cane, flip-flops or even a cricket bat if you wanted a full arsenal. For CBT there were mini clips or elastic bands from the stationery shop, plus shoelaces to tie everything up in a pretty bow. Fly swats always perfect for beating cocks — after all, they were designed to deal with annoying little pests.P hallic vegetables wearing condoms were pressed into service as dildos, while Deep Heat, Tiger Balm or a careful dab of hot sauce made excellent (and cruel) lube for hand jobs.
Everything required imagination, and those limitations created a playful ingenuity all of their own. You couldn’t simply order the exact implement of your fantasy — you had to look at ordinary objects and see the potential for exquisite torment.
I loved the creativity of those improvised days, and while the new toys are magnificent, the convenience is glorious, the range is ridiculous and have opened up a whole new world of kink – the old no-frills retro approach still has its place. It’s perfect when you’re just starting out and want to experiment without spending a fortune on proper kit. I’ve certainly been in situations, a hotel room, for ex. where you want to play but have no toys with you. Suddenly a rolled-up magazine, a dressing-gown belt, your sharp stiletto heels, spit-soaked panties (stuffed in their mouth or pulled over their head), a scarf to keep them quiet, a hairbrush (both ends useful — the handle with a condom) and some shoelaces all come into their own.
Being able to run a whole scene with very limited toys (or none at all) is a useful skill and can be surprisingly effective. It’s just you and the unadulterated art of dominating another person with your presence. Toys are great, and it often depends on the nature of the session, but they can sometimes get in the way of the pure, focused, laser-like intensity of a Dom locking onto their sub and then ‘sealing the deal’.
Just remember to stay safe and sane with homemade toys. (If you’re using any form of bondage, always keep a sharp pair of scissors within easy reach — unlike proper manacles, note that these improvised restraints aren’t designed for a quick release.) See here for more safety advice.
