The Problems of Fetish Argot: The Language of Kink

Posted on 16/02/2021 by Mistress Sidonia
fetish-argot-topper-

Argot (noun) – jargon or idiomatic vocabulary of a particular social group, especially that of an underworld body of people (pronounced with a silent ‘t’, unless of course you’re a N. American.)

The Problems of Fetish Argot

There is a huge, pervasive problem to overcome when writing a regular femdom blog – a lack of words to describe our world and it’s not just an absence of BDSM terms but sex in general. Well it is the ‘English’ language and the English DO NOT talk about sex. That’s why our erotic terms are either medical or begin as unpleasant juvenile slang. Tea bagging comes to mind (well that’s certainly British), really… we couldn’t come up with a better name? At least fellatio is rather beautiful and a bit of an onomatopoeic mouthful. So like vanilla sex, we grope around in the dark with uninspired, covert descriptions like golden showers; or flat acronyms like CBT or CEI.

We as yet, cannot even agree the plural of domme? I have come across all of these:
Dominatrixes?
Dominatri?
Dominatrices?
Dominae?
Where’s a linguist when you need one (and that’s not an expert on oral sex.)

I’ve often pondered what the collective noun for Mistresses could be? “A whip” perhaps;  and for Dominatrices (well I have to use one spelling) “a cruelty“.
I think “a stable” of slaves is now well established (and may have been coined by moi). And, “an obedience” of subs, or for Prodoms should that be “an over-excited irritation of”.


The Language of Kink

Despite being in regular parlance neither (a) Dominant nor (a) Submissive have yet to make it into the dictionary as proper nouns. You can ‘be’ submissive but not be ‘a’ Submissive. Or indeed ‘a’ Switch, or the rather kind epithet ‘Vanilla’ as a description for a non kinky person.

The word Bottom is also rather perfect as a term for the ‘receiver’ in a scene (but NOT in the gay sense, they have Polari anyway). For example, the bottom may be a masochist without a sub bone in their body, see this is where it all gets confusing… not enough words. Anyway, Bottom leads us to Top obviously and then to the idiomatic, common phenomenon of ‘topping from the bottom’ we’ve all experienced this one  😉

We have, however, created some first-rate new terms: hard limit; subspace; safeword; scene; edge play; and subdrop – to name just a few. And safewords offer up a whole new parlance – apparently shouting out “Popsicle!” or “Justine Bieber!” is de rigueur for newbies; we veterans always found “red” perfectly coherent.

About Mistress Sidonia

Supreme Ruler of The English Mansion. Leather clad 'n' booted bitch, highly sexed, cruel male slave owner and trainer.
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16 Responses to The Problems of Fetish Argot: The Language of Kink

  1. Robert says:
    24/06/2016 at 20:12

    Dear Sidonia, my name is Robert and I have been an admirer of you and your films since about 2002 or 2003-ish(?). I am from the U.S. and currently on holiday in London. I visited Goddess Lexi last month in Las Vegas, and she told me u were now sessioning again? I could not find any such info online, and thought I would submit a session request on here. I would be extremely lucky and privileged to session with you, but I know it is probably a long shot as I leave Saturday, June 25 at 6:45pm, and I heard you do not live in London. Mistress Sidonia, if there is any possible way to session with you, please let me know. I am willing to travel several hours by train to do so (as long as I can make it back before my flight Saturday evening). Again, I know it is a total long shot and very short timing as well. Please let me know, however. It would be somewhat of a dream come true to be able to session with you. FYI: my main interest is boot fetish (I LOVE so many of your videos)
    Sincerely,
    -Robert

    • Mistress Sidonia says:
      27/06/2016 at 10:20

      Oh dear – so near and yet so far… well it’s too late now, you shall never know what delights we had to show you in the boot cupboard 🙂

      • bootslavewilliam says:
        28/06/2016 at 01:37

        How heartlessly cruel, Mistress Sidonia!

        The “BOOT CUPBOARD”! This bootslave’s boot-consumed weak brain has been sent into a kind of frenzy by dreams of what delights he might witness or experience (or, indeed, what torments he might be made to endure) were he to find himself granted the honour of being allowed near that place.

        As ever, Mistress, I stand (sorry, KNEEL!) begging to be on loan and to submit in person, one day, to your control.

        Ever respectfully.

  2. bootslavewilliam says:
    28/06/2016 at 01:41

    … and I’m only an hour’s flight away!

  3. Teddy Tony says:
    28/06/2016 at 13:28

    I’m only a phone call away Mistress Sidonia, and would dearly love to pick up from where we last were. I hope you remember me – Teddy Bear may jog your memory?

  4. bootslavewilliam says:
    28/06/2016 at 19:06

    A short flight… a phone call… Surely something you relish, Mistress or, at least, that amuses you: lowly males scrambling and competing fervently to have bestowed upon one of them the wonderful chance of bowing and serving obediently before your leather booted and stiletto-heeled Supremacy!

    Exciting words to type out, yes… but FULL of genuine submission and craving.

  5. Slippy Toy says:
    29/06/2016 at 18:33

    Getting back on topic from these begging letters…

    “Sissygasm” is so perfect! Specific, pithy and gets all the angles in one word – how I long for that. Brava!

    I think we need a synonym for ruined orgasm, which borders on a medical term (like twisted ankle) which does not get to the heart of having given up so much anticipation to the beautiful domme’s pleasure alone, all the emotional energy withdrawn at her whim. Not quite nailing it, but “sacrificial weep”, “deadpooling”, “emotional freeze”, “candy-swipe” are some ingredients to get to the right synonym.

    • bootslavewilliam says:
      30/06/2016 at 01:41

      I’d just hate to miss any begging opportunity with Mistress Sidonia. In fact, for any eager submissive like me, surely it’s a compulsion… on or off topic! 🙂

    • Mistress Sidonia says:
      06/07/2016 at 20:09

      So, back on topic – I’m liking ‘Deadpooling’ for a ruined orgasm connects with the notion of le petit mort or a ‘Moribund’.

  6. Gussetking says:
    07/02/2021 at 10:26

    The latest news suggests that something called “DeadPooling” is taking place. DeadPooling is when a person or company sets themselves up to provide very low cost hosting for a few months and then, disappear with no chance of a refund for the customer sad times

  7. Jay Gage says:
    10/02/2021 at 14:46

    A couple more to add.

    Snowballing: the act of passing ejaculate from the mouth of one sub to another (from the idea that with each action, more saliva, or possibly another donor’s ejaculate, is added to the mix being passed, like a snowball gathering snow as it rolls)

    Ino (pronounced ee-no): a person who insists or prefers to be addressed in a way related to a D/s role (such as Miss X, Goddess, or even slave), but avoids ever acting in the role. Reasons for doing this vary from shyness or because they only like the aesthetic or possibly because they are deliberately being deceptive. Essentially “all talk”, (from acronym for “In Name Only”).

  8. Gussetking says:
    13/02/2021 at 09:12

    Think Sloppy seconds should make a renaissance haven’t heard it or had it for years such a mind and mouth for filth of course i’d dearly luv to serve you Mistress Sidonia how my chaste clit longs for your electric wand.

  9. Howard says:
    23/02/2021 at 20:40

    Dear Mistress Sidonia,

    Hi Mistress, I am confused do you have Instagram account? Because I am worry about contact with wrong and fake account. Dear Mistress Sidonia you are the only one who I really want to be your slave and serve you

    Thank you

  10. Freddie Clegg says:
    02/03/2021 at 15:05

    One found too often on American web sites that should – in my probably not humble enough opinion – be definitely removed from the list….

    “Dominate” as a noun or an adjective as in “He was obsessed by dominate women” or “He deperately wanted to find a dominate to serve”.

  11. Steve says:
    04/03/2021 at 23:10

    Mistress sidonia, I’m a great fan of you, I would do anything to have the honour of having a session with you, thanks steve xx

  12. Barry Cross says:
    14/04/2021 at 03:27

    Mistress Sidonia
    You are such an imperious Headmistress, if only you had been my head teach at school I would have learnt my lessons from an early age.
    Is it too late for further education?
    Is that school uniform obligatory?
    I really don’t think it will suit me.
    Ysplse

Comments are closed.